Trudy Jean Evans

Make your impressions count…in a good way.

2011-12-16T09:42:00.000-05:00

Here are five simple ways to make a great impression with meeting someone for the first time and everytime.

1. Be early – not on time and certainly not late. Yet, if you are running late call the person to let them know – even if it is only 5 minutes.

2. Put your phone away – unless you are waiting for a very important call, don’t only put it on silent, put it away. When you are expecting a call, let the other person know. If it happens, excuse yourself and step away.

3. Don’t use inappropriate language – even damn or crap is unsuitable, much less any other four letter words.

4. Don’t talk negative about anyone – not your competitor, boss, colleague or client.

5. Spend half your time listening and the other half talking – relationships are not one sided.

That’s easy and simple, right?

Well, one would think so. But the last few times I have met someone for the first time, they missed at least 3 out of the five. Goes without saying their lasting impression is not favorable.

Make your impressions count…in a good way.

Have the simple pleasantries become a thing of the past?

2011-11-04T06:38:00.000-04:00

How many times did you say "Please" and "Thank you" yesterday? Only when you felt it was deserved or every time you interacted with others? Have the simple pleasantries become a thing of the past?

As our society becomes more and more self-absorbed, we find less and less need to extend simple courtesies to one another. If we can't get the store clerk, waiter or ticket attendant to thank us for our business, we certainly can't expect a "Thanks" for opening a door, letting someone ahead in line or returning a dropped article to its owner.

Considering "Please" and "Thank you" were among some of the first words we were taught as a child, perhaps we should all go back to those days. The days when we said those two phrases all of the time because it was considered good manners - it was the right way to treat another.

Have the simple pleasantries become a thing of the past? Not if you start doing them again, with every memo or note that you write, every task or chore you assign and every customer you service. Yes, you can start today making a thing of the past come alive in the future.

Simple is easy. And easy always seems to get done.

2011-09-23T08:28:00.001-04:00

This month our company, The Raven Group, Inc. celebrates 13 years in business. We are proud to have sustained the past couple of years and are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. So, I thought it would be timely to write about how we did it.

Yet, many of my readers are not business owners. My following is also comprised of executives, department heads, managers and individual contributors. As I thought about the course of action we followed to endure, I realized it applies to everyone.

Whether you are working at keeping your doors open, avoiding reductions in force or worrying about being laid off, these 5 simple, easy tips may be just what you are looking for.

1. Always have options
Keep changing and don't get stagnate
Create opportunities

2. Remedy poor performance

Work constantly at self-improvement
Decide early to release substandard performers

3. Have little and big goals in mind
Strive for something everyday
Focus on just one or two long-term goals

4. Remember time flies
Don’t delay making tough decisions
Make choices and follow through on them

5. Celebrate often
Recognize the smallest of wins

Show your appreciation

These five simple tips have kept our company and our sanity as business owners on course since 1998. They also play a big part of how we lead our personal lives as well.

They are simple.

But simple is easy. And easy always seems to get done.

Are you a Servant Centric Leader?

2011-08-31T13:59:00.000-04:00

I am in the process of defining what it takes to be a really great leader. As I work through it, I have narrowed it down to 6 blended types of leadership; one of them being The Servant Centric Leader.

This individual focuses on being of service to others. People drive their interest. They like to please, gain great satisfaction from building relationships, and enjoy working in a team-based environment.

The benefit to this leadership style is their understanding of how to get things done through others. They are instinctively in tune with how people think and feel. The Servant Centric Leader not only comprehends the needs of their employees, but they have a good handle on customer requirements as well. This leader draws a big following, is dedicated to aiding others and well-liked.

Yet, as in my previous blog about The Solution Based Leader, The Servant Centric Leader has its challenges. Too often they let their desire to please get in the way of making tough calls. They find difficulty making sound business decisions that may encompass cutting back on benefits, shrinking expenses, and even downsizing.

Entrepreneurs that fit this leadership style may have suffered the past few years because of their struggle between declining sales and tightening spending. They often held off on making hard-hitting choices until it was too late. The internal struggle The Servant Centric Leader faces can sometimes be paralyzing.

As I move forward in my studies of great leadership, I am finding that one needs to play many roles to meet the call for greatness. I have named them The Kaleidoscope Leader: where their success is based on the success of others. They rely on a multi-faceted approach to leading others blending various techniques to reach personal victory.

The traits of The Service Centric Leader are absolutely necessary in this quest for triumph. Yet, as with anything, excessive behavior – even when it is centered on serving others - can also be damaging.

Keep your leadership in check and be mindful that you need to blend many skills and talents to be great.

Great problem solvers = great leaders? Not always…

2011-08-12T08:18:00.000-04:00

One of the things successful Entrepreneurs and Corporate Executives have in common is their ability to produce results. They are problem solvers, goal oriented and bottom line driven. Give them a difficult situation and within a matter of minutes they will offer a solution.

I call these individuals Solution Based Leaders.

I like these people. They are competitive and driven. Once they focus on a target, they just keep moving forward until they reach victory. They keep their eye on the ball.

Yet as good as they sound, they have a problem. And it’s a big one.

They believe, consciously or subconsciously, they are the only one that can solve anything. They’ve lived their life counting on their personal productivity and find relying on others difficult. They feel they have the right answers – the understanding of exactly what path to follow when achieving goals. They rule others by giving direction, doweling out orders and prefer to be in control.

As a Sole Proprietor or a new Supervisor, Solutions Based Leadership is a must. It is a necessary practice and the first step to achievement.

The problem appears when the Entrepreneur starts hiring employees and the Supervisor moves up the ladder.

Throughout this growing period the Solutions Based Leader needs to move toward Servant Based Leadership in order to sustain success. They must learn the only way they can continue on their path to victory is now through the accomplishments of their staff. It is a change from having all of the answers to letting others find the way. It is done through trust, delegation and letting go.

Without this paradigm shift in leadership the Entrepreneur’s business will fail and the Corporate Executive will be demoted or lose their job.

I guarantee it.

Catch my next blog where I will explain the role of the Servant Based Leader.

By Leadership Expert Trudy Jean Evans - TrudyEvans@TheRavenGroupInc.com

“ok…in a few”

2011-07-27T12:59:00.002-04:00

My husband was recently communicating via email with a banking representative. In his email he requested some information be sent to him. The individual responded: “ok...in a few”. Subsequent communication from this same banker was: “here u go”, “I got u scheduled”, “give u a call 2mrw”.

This was all done through emails – not smart phone texts. Which brings me to my question: What is protocol for emails versus texting?

I feel that if I am emailing someone I spell things out: “you vs u”, “tomorrow vs 2mrw”, “okay vs k”. However, if I am texting, I will abbreviate. Having said that, I am starting to wonder what is the “right” way to communicate.

It seems the younger someone is, the greater the tendency to type in code. So, should we just accept that fact and standardize this new form of shorthand? With lol, idk, and btw becoming main stream abbreviations, is it time to accept this shortened method of communication? Is it no different than, FYI?

While writing this I decided to consult with my good friend, Google. I searched “text abbreviations list” and found a list of 2000 abbreviations! I learned new ones: YOYO – you’re on your own, G2G – got to go, IIWM – if it were me, and many I wouldn’t say much less text.

The more I think about it the more I go back to the original intention of this blog. Just how confident should my husband feel dealing with a banker who talks in code? How credible will my clients feel about me if I resort to encryption?

I think I will stick with abbreviating when texting and communicate in complete sentences while emailing.

What do you think?

Cell Phone Protocol

2011-06-24T14:13:00.002-04:00

Just how many cell phones are out there? The most recent statistics I could find are from a survey conducted in May, 2010 by CTIA, the International Association for the Wireless Telecommunication Industry. It stated that 91% of Americans use cell phones. That same year CBS News reported 4.6 billion users Worldwide. Considering this tool as our main means of communication I feel it is time to discuss cell phone protocol.

I will begin with ring tones. Have you ever thought what your selection choice says about you? By now we have heard phone devices alert us with songs, chimes, bird calls, drums, sirens and so on. What’s my point? Just remember the impression you give when your phone goes off in a meeting playing the theme song from The Lion King, Kanye West’ latest hit or an oldie but goodie from Madonna.

Next, shall we tackle voice messages? Keep them short; to the point and, for goodness sakes, speak clearly! You don’t need to open with “Hi, how are you?” because no one will be there to answer the question. If it isn't concise it will be deleted. And, make sure you repeat the phone number if it is different than the one appearing on the phone. By saying it slowly, you give us a chance to actually write it down.

Lastly, let’s debate “The Missed Call”. When I see a missed call, I think someone tried to reach me and changed their mind or accidentally dialed my number. When my 23 year old daughter, Emma, sees one, she calls the person back. She feels it takes place of a voice message. Let’s all get on the same page…a missed call is just that and requires no action. A voice message on the other hand is the signal that someone wants you for a reason.

What are your thoughts on Cell Phone protocol?

Who do you talk to about your business?

2011-05-27T06:56:00.001-04:00

Recently I spoke with a group of small business owners, managers and legal/accounting professionals. Knowing it can be lonely at the top, whether you are surrounded by employees or a sole practitioner, I asked them “Who do you talk to about your business?”

I inquired as to who challenges their thinking, offers a different point of view or engages in a strategic discussion. As with many leaders, they had very few people to pick from and many had no one. This is why these success driven individuals would benefit greatly from an executive/business coach.

The decision to hire a coach should be based on measurable results, even if they are often focused on developing soft skills. To maximize your coaching experience, here are 3 key areas and questions your coach can help you answer.

1. Increase sales – grow the business
a) Who is your best source of income? Do you focus on the business that brings you the most revenue or spend too much time concentrating on” low hanging fruit”?

b) Are you happy with your closing ratio? Do you examine why you lose deals or customers walk out without buying?

c) Are you charging what you are worth? Do you shop your competition and sell value versus price?

2. Maximize productivity – time management
a) How do you spend your day? What distractions throw you off course i.e. does the sound of an email arriving or phone ringing always take precedent?

b) Who controls you? Do you know the advantage of sometimes saying, “No.”?

c) Can you delegate more? Do you know how to assign tasks to people that don’t report to you or even work for you?

3. Establish a professional presence - enhance your communication style
a) How influential are you? Are you considered approachable and believable?

b) Is your appearance in alignment with your value? Do your clothes, work area and vehicle speak favorably for the type of work you do?

c) Are you self-aware and do you self-regulate? How mindful are you of your strengths/short comings and what are you doing about them?

If you don’t have or like your answers, hire a business coach, print these questions and get started on what could lead to a lifetime of success. You will find over time the extraordinary value this synergistic relationship will bring to your business and your life.

Can You Learn Optimism?

2011-04-08T06:56:00.004-04:00

How does that title make you feel? Are you eager to read on because you already are an optimist and look forward to the message? Or, are you cynical? Do you believe optimists are born not made?

Had you asked me a year ago if optimism could be taught I would have replied “No”, but today I believe the human being can learn anything as long as they have Desire.

Next week I am speaking at a Pediatric Conference in Florida hosted by Plantation General Hospital CEO, Barb Simmons and Clinical Mgr. Cardio-Pulmonary Services, Maryellen Rutan. My keynote message is Seven Days to a Lifetime of Optimism.

My presentation begins with a discussion regarding the Desire to be more positive and pursue life with joy despite obstacles and setbacks. I will review a seven step approach to seeing the “glass half full” even when it has just one drink left.

Over 60 minutes I will thoughtfully introduce the audience to these seven insights:

Day One: I want to live a life of Optimism
I have the strong desire to change and know I am in control of my thoughts

Day Two: I choose to live a life of Optimism
Because I know control my thoughts, I know I can change the way I think

Day Three: I take responsibility for living a life of Optimism
Change takes practice, so I take ownership over my thoughts

Day Four: I seek out others who live a life of Optimism
I surround myself with optimistic people and graciously avoid others

Day Five: I practice a life of Optimism
I appreciate all that I already have and dwell on the good

Day Six: I celebrate a life of Optimism
Because I am making progress I smile on the inside which radiates on the outside

Day Seven: I live a life of Optimism
I know I am the only one that has power over my optimistic thinking

Combine a focused effort of concentrating and repeating these seven insights with the Desire to change and I believe anyone can lead a lifetime of Optimism.

Want to Instill Ownership in Your Workplace?

2011-03-19T16:37:00.001-04:00

If I could figure out how to create a pill for employees to take that caused them to demonstrate Ownership at work, I could make a fortune. Over and over again, I hear Executives and Business Owners ask me how to instill Ownership in their workers. Luckily I have an answer…but one that many leaders choose not to embrace.

1. Clearly communicate what you expect the person to do
2. Follow up with them on a consistent basis
3. Offer specific feedback as to what they are doing well and what needs to change
4. If they don’t perform up to the expectations, either help them change or change them

A simpler answer is: Hold them accountable

That’s it. Nothing more. But why is it lacking in today’s workplace? Because too many bosses have gone soft. They think it’s all about empowering their people. Letting them make their own decisions. Encouraging individuality. And, all of that is great. But, before one puts these practices in place there must be rules and standards that apply.

Everyone needs to know what is expected of them first. Then, they can find ways to accomplish their goals to the best of their ability. Since each person is different, methods to achieve top performance will vary. Some will achieve great things on their own with minimal guidance. Others need specific direction, step by step instructions that outline how to go from point A to point B.

Whatever method one uses to get “the job done”, it MUST be monitored, inspected and feedback given...good and bad. And, this is where the leader goes soft. They are uncomfortable holding people accountable. They find it difficult to deliver negative comments and simply forget to offer praise.

Want your staff to take Ownership? Try doing it yourself first. Hold yourself accountable for their success. When you do this…you take responsibility for leading them to greatness. Then, the good ones will follow you and you will change out the others.

Use my 4 step process, hold yourself Accountable, and you will create an Ownership Culture others will envy.

Truth, Trust and the Work Place

2011-03-01T15:28:00.001-05:00

I had the opportunity to speak at Broward College this past Friday about Emotional Intelligence. On Saturday I addressed the College of Pharmacy Students at Nova Southeastern University on Trust. As I reflect back on both presentations, I was reminded of one of the principles in my book: The Pied Piper Principle; Lead, and They Will Follow:

Principle #45: Tell the truth

”A lesson we are taught from young: “Don’t lie or you will get into more trouble” or “I won’t get mad if you tell me the truth.” So, you work hard as a youngster to do as you are told and avoid lying. Then someone comes along and explains “the little white lie” and you now begin to operate with the new rules. You face a decision that requires falsifying information and you do it confidently, knowing that if you try real hard you will be able to fit it in under the “white lie” clause.

Then you learn the lesson of exaggeration. You are coached to “expand” your resume, “manipulate” the data and provide information on a “need to know” basis. And, all of a sudden the mere thought of telling the truth becomes foreign. It is strange to even consider. You enter negotiations knowing that everyone arrives in their dishonesty suit. It is acceptable to “fudge” the numbers, leave out certain facts in order to close the deal.

With all of this education on lying, it is hard to break the cycle. Unless – of course – you have integrity. You choose to do it different. You are even willing to announce to others that you don’t do it that way. You prefer the truth. It is simpler. There is no need to cover things up. They are what they are. Take it or leave it. Think of the consequences others eventually pay when lying. One guarantee of telling the truth, you will sleep easier at night.”

The more we hear of broken promises, fraud, and deceit, the greater the call of each of us to lead our lives with truth. Join with me in being a leader others want to follow by staying true to our word today, this week and on.

How do you compare with other small businesses?

2011-02-11T15:34:00.002-05:00

I recently surveyed a population of small business owners to learn more about how they run their companies. Here is what I found.

Very few have figured out how to utilize social media in their business and those that do, did not have a focused approach or measurement of success. They value promotional products but feel they can no longer afford them.

Only a handful had a personal relationship with their banker, fixed their own computers when broken, or called their “brother-in-law. They are not expecting to add staff this year and have no plans for renovation.

Everyone’s desire was to generate new business but few had created a formalized plan to do so.

Sound like you?

If so, you are typical of most small business owners. If any of these companies hired me as their business coach, I would recommend the following:

1. Every company needs social media. But it should be customized to the business needs. Research, talk to people or hire a specialist to make sure you are moving in the right direction. And, remember, it takes time! Overnight successes are far and few between.

2. Establish a relationship with your local banker. Even if you don’t have high transactional banking needs you will be surprised how many people your banker knows that may be a great customer or vendor for your company.

3. Look for a computer support resource. The time you spend on repairs, restoration or disaster recovery could be spent generating sales. Outsource to a professional who understands the value of “down time”.

4. Focus your business efforts. Whether you create a 10 page business plan or jot it down on legal pad, keep it focused on measureable results. Marketing efforts like: networking, direct mail and emails are more effective when they have an end goal in mind.

Make sure you keep it simple when running your business. Establish a revenue goal within a specific timeline, identify the most efficient way to reach it and then as Nike suggests “Just do it”.

“You Are What You Tolerate.”

2011-01-20T20:30:00.001-05:00

In Taylor Caldwell’s book, Captain and the Kings she wrote that line and it has stuck with me for years. In fact, some people actually give me credit for it because I say it all of the time. Yet, I always acknowledge the wisdom of this great author for allowing me to use her verbiage to influence others….and here is how I do it.

What are the things that are in your control that you tolerate? Are you satisfied with poor behavior from your children? Do you accept your employees are always late? Will you endure rude customer service? Can you move throughout your day accepting disrespect?

Those questions really make one think don’t they?

And the reason you are grappling with them is because you know you deserve the best life has to offer. You should surround yourself with only those as deserved as you are. If you will agree with me on that simple statement, we can move on. If not, please stop reading.

Ah, so you stayed with me and chose to read on. Let me begin complimenting your willingness to explore how your level of tolerance has positively and negatively affected your life.

Wherever you are this very moment you need to take responsibility for putting yourself there. You are the product of you what you have tolerated over the years. Sitting in a fine hotel? It is because you expected the best. Reading this on a dilapidated bench in the cold? It is because you are willing to tolerate lack.

Whatever conditions you are living with is due to your level of tolerance. Whether you are overweight or in the best of health, in a relationship of adoration or hate, rich or poor, the circumstances are all the same. You get back exactly what you are willing to tolerate.

So, from this moment forward realize the truth behind the statement. Raise your awareness. Demand the best in your life. For, the truth is and always will be:” You are what tolerate.” Taylor Caldwell – Captain and The Kings.

Not Your Typical New Year’s Resolution

2011-01-04T12:35:00.003-05:00

Now that 2011 is officially upon us and we are four days into the New Year, I want to share with you my resolution. I welcome you to join me in an endeavor of living in optimism throughout the year

The Optimist’s Creed by Christian D. Larson (1874-1954)

I promise myself…

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

You may be smart, but are you Emotionally Intelligent?

2010-12-10T08:56:00.004-05:00

A few months ago a colleague and fellow blogger, Wayne Evans (www.WayneScottEvans.com), was sharing with me his thoughts on Emotional Intelligence (EI). EI is comprised of the softer, more personal qualities of a Leader. As always after leaving a conversation with Wayne, I gave it much thought. Since that time, I have done a great deal of research, created a workshop on five components of EI and have come to a few conclusions.

One, emotional intelligence does not directly tie to textbook intelligence. Part of my investigation included meeting highly intelligent Leaders and inquiring how well they have managed their relationships in the work place. Many of these scholarly executives were very skillful at the financial, operational or technical aspect of their job. Yet, their ability to build and maintain strong relationships in and outside their organization was minimal.

Next, everyone has the potential to raise their level of emotional intelligence – no matter how “book” smart they are. I believe high IQ scores are not necessary to achieve excellence when it comes to overall EI. All successful Leaders possess it – some may work harder on it – but it is available to anyone with desire.

Lastly, elevating one’s EI begins with self-awareness and is then followed by self-regulation.

Self-awareness is the realization that you have things that you naturally do well and other opportunities for improvement. This deeper sense of presence can come from many places. It can be uncovered through assessments like DiSC or Myers Briggs, executive coaching, a therapist, mentor or good friend. The source of discovery is not as important and the enlightenment. There can be no positive development and personal growth without this first step.

When you are aware of these growth opportunities you can begin the practice of self-regulation. This is “catching” bad habits when they happen. It is the process of opening your mind to face your flaws and your willingness to change them. It isn’t easy and quick. It can take time and be frustrating. But through the self-regulation process you can continue to raise your level of Emotional Intelligence each and every day.

Using these two components of EI, self-awareness and self-regulation, is the beginning of creating a more fulfilled and successful life. Whether you are working on controlling your temper, enhancing your communication skills or practicing non-judgment, it can only happen when you are aware and then regulate the behavior.

Stop Networking!!!

2010-11-19T13:56:00.003-05:00

Bet that got your attention. Yes, I am suggesting to stop networking… at the Chamber, your “Leads Group”, LinkedIn, and facebook. Just give it all up! With tons of books and experts out there selling their ideas on how to effectively network…why on earth would I suggest such a thing? Because I don’t believe in networking – I prefer connecting instead.

Consider this: the foundation of all successful relationships is built on mutual trust. The more we trust one another the more we are willing to give to each other. Creating trust can only be done by truly connecting with the person. The dictionary uses the term “relationship” when defining Connection. Networking on the other hand is defined as “the exchange of information”. Therefore, I say “Stop Networking and Start Connecting!”

Here are three simple ways to connect with others:

1. Be Approachable
2. Be Interested not Interesting
3. Be Responsive

Connection #1: Being Approachable is about positioning yourself as friendly and open to connect with others. The most important thing you can do is simply Smile! Think about the difference you feel walking up to a stranger that is smiling versus frowning. Approachability means you greet others first. Make sure you readily extend your hand before they do. Be the one that starts the conversation.

My tip for being more approachable when meeting new people at a gathering is to pretend you are the host versus attendee of the get-together. Now you can comfortably walk up and introduce yourself to strangers – with a smile of course.

Connection #2: Be Interested not Interesting. This is creating a dialog based on the other person. Now, you listen more and talk less - focusing on the words they say with the intent to respond. You stay present in the conversation concentrating on learning about the individual versus talking about yourself.

My tip for getting people to open up is to ask them: “How did you get into your business?” Then be genuinely interested in their response.

Connection #3: Be Responsive. Once you have the relationship started you need to follow up. Whether it is sending an email, connecting through social media or scheduling a meeting, you need to determine how you will build upon this initial connection to begin establishing trust with one another.

My tip for being responsive is to be the first to follow up and focus on what you can do for them, not the other way around.

Think about the beginning of your most successful relationships. I bet in looking back you didn’t network – you connected!

Your Reputation is Everything

2010-10-27T13:03:00.001-04:00

In my upcoming book The Pied Piper Principle; Lead, and Your Business Will Follow, Your Reputation is Everything is one the principles. And, after all of the feedback I received from my last blog, “Enough is Enough!” I know my readers will easily relate to this one.

What do people think when they hear your name? What is the impression you leave behind? What do they say about you when you are not there? As you ponder these thoughts, do you smile inside knowing thoughts of you leave a favorable imprint? Or, do you somewhat cringe at what may be said when you are not around?

The dictionary’s definition of reputation is: “An overall quality of character as seen or judged by people in general”. Note the word judged. Although we strive to live a life without judgment we cannot hide from it. Every action we make is judged and forms our reputation.

So, fill in this blank: (Your Name) has earned a reputation of someone that (blank).

Could the blank be any of the following?
…is optimistic
…true to his word
…reliable
…confident

Or, is it possible the blank is filled with some of these:
…lies
…is never on time
…breaks promises
…you can’t count on

As I write these words, I know what I want my reputation to be. But, that is looking forward into the future. Right now my reputation and yours is based on our past actions. Luckily we can change it…but it takes time.

From this moment forward, consider each interaction you have establishes and solidifies your reputation. Whether it is in person or over the phone, in email on or Facebook, every single move you make is the essence of who you are.

Here is a simple exercise that demonstrates just how powerful a reputation is. As you read each word below, think about the first person that pops into your head.

Happy
Mean
Genuine
Hypocrite
Funny
Sad

For each one of those words, I know the image of someone entered your mind. That is the impression you have of them which in turn represents their reputation.

What words do you want to be associated with? What description do you want attached to your name? Remember “Your Reputation is Everything”.

Enough is Enough!

2010-10-12T20:48:00.002-04:00

I am so tired of dealing with people that say one thing and do another. Make commitments that they don’t keep. Offer something and then not follow up. I am so disgusted with this, that I am finally making a commitment to myself and all those reading this blog that for me “Enough is enough!”

I am no longer going to tolerate lack of responsiveness in others. I am going to call out people who tell me they will get back to me, give me a call or volunteer information only to never be heard from again. I am going to find someone else to buy from, sell to and work with.

My guess is if you are one of these people, you are not reading this blog. I bet those of you honoring me with your time are just as frustrated as I am. I imagine my followers are the exact opposite of those I described in the opening. In fact, let me speculate who you are as my reader.

You make promises and then keep them. You don’t need a signed agreement to stay true. Your word is far more valuable.

You offer great customer service. You look for ways to solve problems, overcome obstacles and value relationships.

You treat your employees like gold. People like to work for you and refer friends and family to you often.

You understand the importance of being on time, responding to emails in a suitable manner, and calling people back when you say you will. And, on those unforeseen circumstances that throw you off tract, you begin your communication with the words, “I am sorry.” You are quick to apologize for being delayed or the rare missed deadline.

Right now I imagine you are picturing those people that you cannot count on. Images of those who have let you down, given false promises, and continued on without any realization they are wrong. You know exactly who they are.

So, I ask you “How long will you continue to tolerate this disrespectful attitude?” When will you join me in saying “Enough is enough”?

Let us together dedicate ourselves to only associating with people that care, keep commitments, value honesty and integrity. Let’s walk away from people that do not have the same high standards as we do.

For once and for all – Enough is enough!

How Does Your Thought Garden Grow?

2010-09-23T15:12:00.002-04:00

Many of you know I am in the middle of writing a book on the law of attraction which I have entitled In-Joy.

Just today, an excerpt of the book has been published on line as a short article entitled Your Thought Garden. Below are the first two paragraphs of the piece.

Your Thought Garden: “As more and more people begin to understand the power of their mind and how their thoughts manifest into reality, the greater the need to find ways to cultivate what they think about. The Law of Attraction clearly states what you think about you bring about. Yet, how can we control our thinking in such a manner that we will be able to clearly focus on attracting only what we want in life and steer clear of what we don't?

In order to help you with this concept, picture a garden. This garden has nothing planted in it yet: just rich, tilled soil ready for the seeds to be placed in the ground. Now imagine sectioning off your garden and placing markers in the dirt that are ready to be labeled. Consider this your Thought Garden.”

If this intrigues you, I would be honored if you let me know what you think by reading it in its entirety at http://ezinearticles.com/?Your-Thought-Garden&id=5052909

Give Yourself a Standing Ovation!

2010-09-08T09:36:00.001-04:00

Over the past few months I have been studying the behaviors of highly successful people and comparing them to those individuals that just can’t seem to find their way. The more I observed both groups the stronger I felt about one thing. We are the only one that can motivate ourselves. No one else can do the job for us. Our personal happiness lies within.

Now don’t get me wrong. I believe we can be influenced by outside forces. In fact I pride myself on living my life focused on being a positive influence to others. But I am only able to inspire someone. They then in turn self-motivate.

As I began to explore this notion of self-motivation, I realized something that very few of us have ever experienced…receiving a standing ovation. That particular sign of recognition is reserved for entertainers, athletes, and politicians. The common guy like you and me doesn’t seem to do anything worthy of such acknowledgment. It’s not that we don’t accomplish heroic deeds. I have many colleagues that save lives every day. I know tons of people that make a difference by simply sharing their smile with others.

The more I thought about this special method of recognizing great feats, the more I thought about internalizing the process. So I started to self-motivate by patting myself on the back for my accomplishments. Whether it is working with a client, presenting to a new audience, or finishing a great run, I stop for a moment and silently offer myself praise. I picture the standing ovation for a job well done. And, every time I do this, guess what happens? I smile. The very notion of receiving a standing ovation for my work, who I am, and what I stand for brings joy to me. It encourages me to keep going when I am not feeling so positive.

So, do yourself a favor. For the rest of this week, give yourself a standing ovation for the little things and the big things you do well. Then comment back on how many times you smiled in the process.

2010-08-29T09:50:00.002-04:00

Even God Has Competition

2010-08-25T16:38:00.003-04:00

I was recently talking with a client of mine, Laura Betts – Owner of HyperbaricsRx (www.HyperbaricsRx.com). We were discussing how different business owners react when mentioning their competition. We agreed that these reactions vary from denying they even have competition to the rarely seen admiration. I believe the way a leader feels about their competitors is a true reflection of their integrity. Heck, even God has competition…poor guy has to go up against the Devil every day!

How do you respond when someone mentions your rivalry? Do you immediately dismiss their presence; or, do you find yourself defensive? Is your response quick and negative; or, respectful of their contributions to the marketplace? However you find yourself reacting, I guarantee it is being evaluated, judged and filed away in the memory of others.

I am not quite sure why more leaders choose an adverse attitude toward those who offer the same services. I can only think it stems from jealously and lack of self-confidence. Yet, we all have competition. And, if you use it correctly it can only enhance your status within your industry.

Take a moment and think about your top three competitors. Consider these questions:

What is one thing I do better than they do?
What is one thing they do better than me and how can I learn from it?
How can I replicate their best practices?

In order to be competitive today, you need to know your competitors. But, you do not need to belittle, degrade or be disrespectful of their offerings. Doing this is like taking out a mirror and seeing an ugly reflection.

Want to really compete? Be better than the other guy, offer greater value, exceed expectations, respond quicker, build loyalty and treat every customer like your only customer.

I bet this is just what God does.

Furthering Oprah’s Cause

2010-08-11T18:57:00.004-04:00

I am sure many of you know of Oprah Winfrey’s mission to stop texting and driving. She seems to be single-handedly changing the habit of many Americans. As I support her efforts, I would like help further her cause and add: Stop Texting and Talking!

For so many years we have grown to pride ourselves on multi-tasking. In fact, it is often a skill set employers look for when hiring. Yet, we rarely search to employ someone that is a terrific listener and has the ability to stay present throughout an entire conversation.

Think about it…how many times do you allow yourself to be interrupted to see who is beeping on your phone? When was the last time you sat through an entire meeting and never looked at your blackberry? What about the last phone call you needed the caller to repeat what they were saying because you were busy finishing off a text message?

What about those kids today? I am frankly appalled at the number of parents that allow phones at the dinner table. Or, walk through a mall, grocery store or even Disney World with their son or daughter tailing behind because they can’t stop checking messages. Get into a car full of teens and you will experience silence. Each one of them will either have plugs in their ears or be completely absorbed reading the latest Facebook posting.

For the next 48 hours don’t just stop texting and driving…stop texting completely when you are in the presence of another human being! Don’t allow yourself to become distracted by the beeping or flashing of that small communication tool that is starting to take over your life. And, ask those around you to do the same. Try these behaviors instead:

• Leave your phone in your bag, pocket or room.
• Turn off the sound – no vibrating either!
• Take the time to actually look at people when they speak.
• Acknowledge others with a smile.
• Listen to the words they say and respond accordingly.

Together we can support Oprah’s cause and promise no texting while driving. We can then make a further commitment to live a life of personal interaction by staying present in each moment that we have with one another.

Please join me in my effort to bring back a society that places value on social interaction not just social media!

What is Your Follow-up Process? Last of a 3 part series

2010-08-03T11:33:00.001-04:00

If you have been following my blog, you know this is the last of three installments regarding Closing More Deals. Previous blogs covered:

1. What were their buying signals – the triggers that drove you to know how they would be making a decision?
2. What “call to action” do you ask of them before they leave or hang up the phone?

Today, I want to cover your follow up process by offering these suggestions:

Don’t let unanswered emails fall by the wayside.
In today’s world of electronic communication, we send emails instead of making a phone call. Our hope is the recipient will respond to it faster than calling us back. However, many times the receiver does not email back and the sender forgets about it or just lets it go. I suggest that you always send it a second time. Forward it to the recipient with an opening comment that you are concerned it was lost along the way on the first try. You will be surprised how many times you will receive a response on this second go around.

Send hand written notes whenever possible.
Again, in today’s world of electronic communication, one way to set yourself apart from your competition is to send a handwritten note. I recommend getting stationery that has your company name on the outside of the card and is blank inside along with blank envelopes. Send a thank you note after meeting with someone for the first time or after receiving your first order. Commit to sending 2-3 cards each week and do not enclose your business card. Just simply sign your name as it keeps the message personal. And hand write the envelope!

Stay in touch.
One more note about electronic communication…it is easy to stay in touch with your contacts. Take time each month to review your email address book and send out short messages that serve as a reminder of you and your company. Whether you are informing them of a new service offering or simply saying “Hello”, you will be surprised by the amount of business that can suddenly develop by staying in touch with your contact list.

As you look back over this 3 part series, please feel free to comment and share with me and my readers your tips and recommendations. We can all use new ideas and reminders of how we can build our business by Closing More Deals.

Close More Deals – Part 2 of 3

2010-07-21T14:42:00.001-04:00

In my last blog entitled: Close More Deals, I discussed the growing concern of business owners and sales people in closing the sale. I suggested anyone faced with this challenge ask themselves three questions:

1. What were their buying signals – the triggers that drove you to know how they would be making a decision?
2. What “call to action” do you ask of them before they leave or hang up the phone?
3. What is your follow up process?

I covered Question #1 in my July 9 blog. Today let me share my suggestions for the second question:

What “call to action” do you ask of them before they leave or hang up the phone?

At the end of every prospective sales meeting, you must give the buyer an assignment or call to action to keep them involved in the process. And, you must consider the buyer’s personality when doing so. Let me give you a few examples.

There are basically two types of buying styles: The kind that want to make a decision right away and move on; or, the individual that needs time to think about it. Let’s call them the Rabbit and the Turtle.

When dealing with the Rabbit, you need to be quick with your answers, stay on point, and ask for the sale. The Turtle, on the other hand, wants you to be thorough, allow for processing time, and not be rushed.

If I am with a Rabbit, I will try to close the deal right then by asking for it, assuming I got it, and moving to the next stage of the sale. If I were selling a product, I might say something like “Once I have your signature, I can go ahead and get all of the paperwork started, so won’t have to wait very long.”

Selling the same product to a Turtle, I would ask them if they would like time to read over the material before making a decision. In fact, I may even let them leave with it. Then I make sure I have their contact data and establish a time and date when I will be calling them to “answer any questions” they may have.

No matter what you sell: product or service, you must have some call to action to either close more deals or bring you closer to the sale.

In my next blog, I will cover #3: What is your follow up process?

Close More Deals

2010-07-09T11:34:00.002-04:00

Over the past few weeks, I have had more and more conversations about the difficulty in closing business. Sales people and business owners alike have expressed concern in the lack of interest their prospect has to do business with them. They tell me the buyer just isn’t buying, the competition is too strong or indecision is running rampant.

After carefully listening to their dilemma, I ask questions like these:

1. What were their buying signals – the triggers that drove you to know how they would be making a decision?
2. What “call to action” do you ask of them before they leave or hang up the phone?
3. What is your follow up process?

Their answers clearly defined why they weren’t closing more deals. If you are struggling with your response to those three questions and also experiencing the challenge of building your business, let me give you some suggestions.

1. What were their buying signals – the triggers that drove you to know how they would be making a decision?

My husband was recently looking for a car for my daughter. In talking with dealers, he stated early in the conversation that price was a main factor. After speaking with a handful of sales people (and I use that term very loosely), not one asked him how much was he planning on spending. Not one!

In turning an inquiry into dollars you must pay attention to hot buttons and sell to them. This does not require negotiation skills, or the art of persuasiveness…it requires just the opposite…the ability to listen and sell to what the prospect wants to hear – not what you want to say.

Too often the person selling spends more time talking than listening. Think about the last couple of deals you lost. If we were looking at a video of the conversation, what would we see? Would you be explaining the features, benefits and the reason to buy? Or, would we observe you leading the conversation through a series of questions that uncover what is important to the buyer; and, then watch you sell to those buying signals?

I will cover Question 2 in my next blog – stay tuned.

Give yourself a call

2010-06-25T06:01:00.004-04:00

Do you know what it is like to get a hold of you? Have you ever tried calling yourself at work? My guess is you haven’t in a very long time…if ever.

So when you finish reading this and have a few spare minutes, depending on the size of your company complete the following steps and then consider the questions I ask.

1. Call the main number for your business and follow the process of being transferred to your extension.
* Be aware of the number of rings it took to connect the call.
* If it is being answered by a live voice, are you proud of how their “sound and greeting” represents your company?
* If you were greeted by a recording, how easy are the menu options to follow?

Pet Peeve: Why is the most likely menu choice often the very last option? For example, when leaving a message you are taken through a series of prompts from marking it urgent, private, etc. with “send” as the last selection instead of the first. Or there are so many options, you actually have to either write them down or listen to them a second time to get it right.

2. Call your direct line.
* Again, note the number of rings and if answered by someone, did you like what you heard?
* If it went to a recording, how clear is the outgoing message and how current?

Pet Peeve: People that date their outgoing message and then don’t update it; i.e. a message that states “I will be out of the office Monday and Tuesday and back on Wednesday” is still playing on Friday. Live voices that sound miserable over the phone...why on earth does any business owner or department head allow people that have no personality be the first sound a caller hears is beyond me.

3. Call your cell phone.
* In addition to the amount of rings how was the tone of your voice during your outgoing message?
* Does the caller have enough time to leave a message or are they cut off midway?

Pet peeve: When people leave me a message and fire off their phone number so fast I have to play it back several times to get the whole thing. When leaving your number ALWAYS repeat is twice, slowly and distinctly.

Whether you are the business, own a business with people working for you or work in corporate America make sure the process of reaching you is painless and represents you in a positive manner.

The thread that weaves through all successful people.

2010-06-09T09:19:00.003-04:00

I was working with a group recently and we were discussing ethics and their overall impact in business. Because I have had the pleasure of helping so many organizations create and implement a culture customized by their leadership team, I believe I may have found a thread that weaves its way through all successful people.

It’s personal-pride. That’s it. Nothing more. Just personal-pride.

Let’s start with toddlers. The reaction to taking their first steps when encouraged by others drives them to pick themselves up when they fall and do it again and again.

Move on to dance or little league. A great performance or homerun can push a child to keep going for the gold.

Next comes grades in school, part time jobs, living on their own, and college degrees. Show me a young person that is proud of their accomplishments, and I will show you a level of success directly impacted by that pride.

This dedication in doing the best possible work, being the best possible person, transcends into adulthood. It turns into entrepreneurs that start with nothing and build empires, teachers that brag about students that surpass expectations and parents that raise responsible citizens who give back to their community.

It can be found daily in the workplace, whether it is a dental practice known for quality care, an art gallery focused on eliminating the intimidation of shopping for fine art or an attorney dedicated to creating a reputation of integrity and justice.

And, it is not just in business. Personal pride reveals itself in beautiful gardens, spotless kitchens, and organized closets. Behind every pristine car, immaculate landscape or a carefully chosen wardrobe you will find an owner beaming with delight.

Personal pride is accomplished by asking yourself these four questions:

1. Did I do the best job I could do?
2. Did I look my best for the situation I was in?
3. Did I treat others in the best way possible?
4. Did I leave a place better than I found it?

For the next 48 hours I challenge you to live a life of personal pride and then check to see how you feel at the end of the day. My guess is better than ever.

Here’s what I can do for you…

2010-05-25T13:27:00.002-04:00

In today’s world of business, customer service is more important than ever. Retailers compete for price, automotive dealers offer no money down, and grocers advertise buy 1 get 1 free. So, in a market where customers know they can most likely always get a better deal, how do you compete?

Don’t tell them no! Focus on what you can do for them instead. You can still run your company within guidelines that maintain profitability. Just incorporate “What I can do for you” into your business philosophy.

Own a hotel and a guest asks for a room on the 9th floor with an ocean view and there is none available? Say, Mr. Guest, I am sorry but I don’t have a room like that vacant. However, what I can do for you is…offer discounted meals, a room on a lower floor but with another beautiful view, or a round of complimentary drinks during happy hour.

Manage a retail store and a customer wants something you don’t have in stock? Suggest two or three things that are somewhat similar to the requested item and may even cost less, offer to order it and have it mailed for free, or recommend another store and actually make the call yourself to see if it is in stock.

Offer a service which a customer finds too expensive? Instead of lowering your rate for the same amount of work find out what the buyer wants to spend and then adjust your offerings accordingly.

Over the past month, I have seen clerks, managers and business owners allow potential clients to walk out with nothing… nothing! Because they were not committed to turning every prospect into a customer they missed an opportunity of generating a sale. On top of it, they were either rude or acted like they didn’t care. I guarantee everyone reading this can think of several companies they will no longer do business with simply because of poor service.

In order to thrive today you must do these five things:

1. Treat every customer like gold.
2. Apologize (yes, say I am sorry) when you are unable to meet their needs or something goes wrong.
3. Put a smile on your face and in your voice when talking to clients.
4. Always think about what you can do for them and find ways to say “yes!”
5. Even if they don’t buy, be certain that they will return another day simply because of your superb service.

For the next week, approach each buyer with the mentality of “Here is what I can do for you” and watch your sales grow.

Principle #1: Everyone is watching

2010-05-11T15:31:00.000-04:00

This is an excerpt from my book: The Pied Piper Principle; Lead, and They Will Follow. Although the book is written for leaders, this particular principle can be followed by everyone. Think about your actions among your customers, colleagues and friends, and read on.

“One of the most important ideas to keep in mind, is all leaders are role models. You are constantly setting examples…both good and bad. Everyone is always watching you – especially your staff.

Your employees will repeat what you say, write as you write and even dress as you dress. Therefore, you must constantly remind yourself that you are a role model. Just as sports figures influence their fans you, too, are an important influence on the people that surround you in the work place.

And, everything you discuss speaks loudly as to the type of person you really are. If you laugh at an off color joke, you are setting an example. If you gossip, use bad language or make fun of others you are letting everyone see exactly what you find acceptable in the workplace.

As a leader, you need to accept the responsibility that goes with the job. You must be willing to keep a great deal to yourself. You must not risk your reputation on making one poor remark or hasty comment.

One tip to keep in mind when practicing role modeling is to pretend a video camera is filming your every move. It is with you in staff meetings, when you are having a private conversation with a direct report or while spending time on a phone call. Imagine this video will be played during your next review, at the next Company meeting or even on that evening’s nightly news. By using this as a reminder, you will begin to make leadership decisions based on being a role model.

Each day, with each interaction you have with another person, you are developing and solidifying your reputation. And, it is vital to remember that while this is going on – everyone is watching.”

Change the Dream Channel

2010-04-25T15:15:00.002-04:00

When my children used to wake up in the night with bad dreams, I would get them back to sleep by telling them to simply change the dream channel in their minds. I’d suggest that they picture something they think is wonderful or fun. Then I’d ask them to pretend that they are watching a scene with this thought in mind just as if they were viewing their favorite TV show. And, before you know it, they would peacefully fall back to sleep.

What channels do you watch in your mind before you go to sleep? Are you still seeing the action-packed, violent movie you just turned off? Do you turn off the light still feeling depressed from watching the nightly news? Perhaps you fall asleep reading a romance novel and dream of your loved one or you just finished a motivational magazine and wake up rested and re-energized.

On those nights that you find difficulty falling asleep or awaken in a sweat caused by your own dream monsters, do what my kids did – change your dream channel. Vividly picture changing the channel in your mind until you are tuned into a “good” movie. Find a story that makes you happy, brighten the picture, turn up the sound and let your personal dream channel send you off sleeping soundly.

Is the glass ceiling just a mirror?

2010-04-16T13:14:00.002-04:00

In the past few months I have attended several “women only” events. And, whether it was a luncheon, business gathering, or mother/daughter celebration, there was one common theme: Women talking about other women.

Over the same period of time, I have also been involved in all male meetings. Most were business get-togethers and a few were just hanging around my husband’s friends. Again, one common theme: Men talking about other men.

Common theme – yet, very different.

I rarely heard a word of praise for one another among the women. Their conversations focused more about poor taste in clothing, hair and makeup. The world of business rarely came up although the majority held jobs. There were talks of ex-husbands and mother in-laws from hell, movie stars gone bad and even complaints about their immediate family.

When the guys mentioned someone, they usually were accompanied with the name of a sports team. Discussions went from protesting a bad shot or a missed call to praising a no-hitter or unbelievable catch.

Both groups brought up the past. The ladies talked of scorned lovers and best friends gone bad. The guys reminisced about Cinderella teams, green jacket winners and legend players.

As I reflected on this disparity, it dawned on me. Is there really a glass ceiling? Or, is it simply a reflection of who we are? Although we are making strides in the workplace, most women do not proactively help each other get ahead which comes natural in our male dominated world. Many females have not yet figured out how to get past the pettiness and move toward greatness for one another.

Perhaps it is because boys start their lives off playing on a team…from t-ball, to little league – they grow up learning to count on one another to make a basket and score a touchdown. They kick one another’s rear ends in the locker room but give a high five on the field. A good number of women didn’t experience that type of camaraderie when they were little and I think that might be why they find the team concept foreign.

If you are a woman reading this, I encourage you to find just one other female to mentor, inspire and persuade to reach for more in her life. Find ways to help her achieve all that she can be. Help her focus on her potential, lose all bitterness toward others and challenge her to live in her own greatness. Once, you have, find another and another.

If you are a man reading this, please don’t talk about it to another woman…it may make her mad.

The Past is Passed

2010-04-09T17:19:00.002-04:00

I am sure there are physiological reasons the eyes of a human are placed in front of their head.

Many animals have the same physical set up as we do; and then again, just as many don’t. Nature most likely had a grand plan and made the decision based on hunting purposes or protection from predators.

When it came to us, I think nature came through with a completely different reason.

I think it is because people should always be looking forward in their life and not back in time. We need to direct our attention to the greatness that is about to happen versus focus on any history of negativity.

Which is why I believe “The Past is Passed”.

Yesterday is gone. The times of old can be reflected on, but not dwelled upon. I am certain a higher power specifically placed them in the front and up high on your head to strategically steer us along the path of possibilities.

If you consider the real Game of Life, a second turn is achievable. Forfeiting a turn is sometimes inevitable. Winning and losing alternate as life goes on. You can change course, make a move that draws surprise and even wipe your opponent out.

But, one thing that is absolutely impossible in this Life Game, is going back spaces. You never roll the dice in life and find yourself going back in time. Changing history is not an option. Therefore, those eyes facing forward are your internal compass to let go of the memories that no longer serve you.

Of course you should reminisce of the good old days, keeping the thoughts of lost loved ones and great experiences dear to your heart. But, once you have reflected on these ancient times, direct your attention to the future. Maintain an optimistic outlook.

Move on knowing The Past is Passed.

Time Management -The Eric Goodman Way

2010-03-26T13:12:00.006-04:00

By now you have most likely attended a class, read a book or picked up an article off the WEB on time management. And, yet you continue to fight the battle against the clock. Or, you are the master of your time and reading this to just find out who the heck Eric Goodman is. Either way, keep focused and read on.

Almost every successful person I know, at one time or another thinks they can add more hours to a day. They are not really making the day longer. In reality they are subtracting from their personal time to see how much they can accomplish in a 24 hour window.

This is when exercise is replaced with returning calls. Bedtime stories are exchanged for answering emails. Meals are consumed with a fork in one hand and a blackberry in the other. Vacations are shortened or not taken at all.

How can you stop being controlled and take control of your time? Here are a few simple tips.

1. When you are on your PC, turn off the sound. How many times do you stop working the minute you hear a new email arrive?

2. Divide your day into chunks of time. Mentally assign tasks to the amount of time you believe they will take and stick to it.

3. Hold more meetings over the phone versus driving somewhere. And keep them focused using an agenda or talking points.

4. Start and end everything promptly. People will respect you more when you are respectful of their time.

5. Limit your “water cooler” moments. I work out of my house; so, I don’t have the distractions I used to have when I was employed by Corporate America. There was no time spent this morning discussing the Sweet Sixteen, Health Care Reform or Sandra Bullock’s recent dilemma.

6. And, lastly, follow Eric Goodman’s practice. Treat each work day as if it were the day before vacation. Isn’t it interesting, when you know you are leaving for a week or even a long weekend, how much you can get done the hours before you head out the door?

Who is Eric Goodman? A good friend and Director at DHL.

It's all in your attitude

2010-03-19T12:25:00.004-04:00

Question for you.

Who are the people that you like to be around? You actually look forward to their call, smile when you see them, and find yourself invigorated when they are gone. Can you picture someone that seems to remove all of the negativity you may be feeling by simply their presence?

I bet I can predict one trait that the person you are thinking about has. It is a positive attitude.

These are the “glass half full” folks. They make “lemonade out of lemons”. They smile a lot, laugh easily, and seem to always be enjoying themselves.

How do they do it? Especially in today’s world. One would assume they have tons of money, great health and lots of love in their life. Yet, my guess is many carry around the same “junk” we all do. The thing that sets them apart is they have figured out one of the most important attributes possessed by all mankind.

It is the ability to control how they react to any situation. These people choose to look at the bright side of things. They find only the good in situations. They speak positive words, act in a positive manner, and focus on positive outcomes.

“Oh, but they aren’t realistic”, some say. It isn’t about facing the facts or denying the truth. It is the manner in which they mentally approach adversity as well as success. They realize that one of the things they have complete control of in their life is how they choose to react to any circumstance. They know the power of a positive attitude and its side effects.

How do they do it? Give this a try. For the next 24 hours do these three things:

1. Replace every pessimistic thought with a positive one

2. Do not speak negatively about anything or anyone. Compel yourself to say something good or nothing at all.

3. Steer clear of people that are depressing or complain. Instead reach out to the person you thought of at the beginning of this message.

Remember it’s all in your attitude and all within your control.

Point the finger in - not out

2010-03-12T10:58:00.000-05:00

One of the things we need to do a better job as a society is holding ourselves accountable for our actions. We no longer own up to the things we do.

Think back to your school days. Remember the kid in class that always blamed others for their mistakes? They were the ones who would cry, “But, it’s not my fault”, finding everyone and anyone responsible for their blunder.

As they grew, they strengthened this belief blaming the professor for their ineptness, the boss for their inadequacies, or the spouse for their failed relationship. Throughout their life they point the finger at others for their incompetence. At no time, did they take personal responsibility for how they live their lives.

This “pointing the finger out” mentality has weaved its way through humanity materializing during political campaigns, corporate takeovers, merchandise recalls, and bankruptcies. At what point does a person stop pointing the finger out and start pointing in?

Over the past several months, I have grown tired of watching people not own up. I have become weary just listening to all of the excuses why something went wrong. I find myself less and less tolerant of this behavior to the point that I no longer try to influence their behavior. Now, I simply dismiss them from my life.

Sounds harsh? It may be. But what I have found is when I replace burdensome individuals with those who anticipate the needs of others, we flourish. When I work with people that look for solutions instead of dwelling on the problems, we get more done. When I surround myself by those who have pride in keeping commitments, we thrive.

These are the people that don’t point the finger out but take responsibility and point the finger in.

This blog is dedicated to the “Team of Five”, Maryellen, Matt, Ellen, Headley and Jesus at Plantation General Hospital. They “point the finger in” day in and day out; and, I am truly honored to have the privilege to work with them.

What Words Do You Wear?

2010-02-19T14:08:00.001-05:00

Most of us have a routine we follow when we begin our day. Whether you work the evening shift, sleep in until noon or watch the sun rise, we have habits that we follow day in and day out. One of those includes choosing our wardrobe. For some, it is based on what is clean and easy to reach. Others take great care in finding just the right outfit.

No matter which category you fall into, I ask you “What words do you wear?”

As you stand in front of the mirror how are you dressing your mind? Are you draped in words of happiness filled with the anticipation of a new day? Or, are you covered in gloom and negativity?

Are you wearing the same words each day as if they are a uniform? Or, do you experiment with new selections of thought that bring joy and pleasure into your life?

Use this simple exercise to uncover the wardrobe of your mind. Think of the first three words that best describe you. Write them down somewhere in the order that they entered your mind. Look at the first word and picture it as if it could wrap itself around you. Imagine it is so close to your skin that you can feel yourself absorb the word into your body.

This, my friend, is your self talk.

Now, envision the next word you wrote down enfolding you. Again, it becomes such a strong mental garment that it sets the tone of your feelings and exemplifies your view of you.

Complete your ensemble with the last word you listed making it a tight fit. Do you wear it well or is it choking off possibilities?

This is your own collection. It has your signature. It is a line only you can carry. And, these words that you bear shape the way you live your life

Do you like what you have on? Or, do you need a makeover?

I don't like Hope.

2010-02-12T09:12:00.001-05:00

Hope feels like I may get it and I may not. It leaves me with the impression that although there are possibilities of achievement, there is also an implication of potential failure. Hope seems like maybe or maybe not.

No, I don’t like Hope at all.

I prefer Faith. Faith implies my beliefs will happen. It is a knowing that my desires will come true. It is an understanding that I will receive what I want. There is no doubt with Faith. Instead of Hope’s “Maybe’, Faith represents “Definitely”. It signifies my wishes will become a reality.

In the 1999 popular movie, The Matrix, one of the main characters, Morpheus, tells Neo, “Don’t think you are, know you are.” This is Faith at its finest. It is the powerful belief that overcomes all odds. It can be disguised in miracles. It is the underlying power of positive thinking.

Faith even feels different than Hope. Think of something you really want in your life. Be very clear in your mind’s eye of this desire. Now, Hope that you have it. Really Hope. Experience the feeling of Hope as strong as you can possibly envision. Say over and over to yourself, “I Hope I have it. I Hope I have it.”. As this exercise comes to a finish you end with a feeling of partial closure.

Now, change direction in your thought process. Again, clearly picture your desire in your mind. Using Faith as a knowing, confirm that you have it. Repeat to yourself, “I have Faith it will be done. I have Faith it will happen.” Draw passion from this phrase and notice the emotion you feel. It is very different than the feeling of Hope, isn’t it? Faith mentally moves you to the sensation of victory.

Hope versus Faith – which one do you believe in? Comment back! I am interested in your thoughts.

Diversity – Managing the Differences

2010-02-05T05:34:00.003-05:00

Dr. Delores Smiley, Dean – Community Education and Diversity Affairs at Nova Southeastern University is a colleague that I have worked with in the past. She recently asked me: “Do diversity education and training enhance teacher preparedness and leadership skills?” Here is my response…

When it comes to leadership skills, I believe diversity no longer focuses on race, age or gender. It is simply acknowledging the differences between all human beings. Because, isn’t there something unique about every one of us that makes us all diverse?

A key ingredient in being a great leader is the ability to manage the difference of all employees. First, you need to know what your employees need from their job to accomplish their career and personal goals. Next, you need to understand the difference in how people learn, how they communicate, and what they expect from you as a leader.

The strongest teams of employees produce the greatest results when all members are given the opportunity to contribute as individuals. When each person is valued for who they are and a leader encourages individuality, managing the differences turns in to utilizing resources.

When it is good to leave something behind!

2010-01-22T07:16:00.000-05:00

Repeat business is a must in today’s economy. We spend too much time getting a new customer to have them only buy from us once. One guaranteed method you can use to increase your odds of another order is to give the buyer immediate access to you. Whether you sell a product or service make sure your contact information is being left behind.

Where is the first place most people go when their garage door breaks down? Typically, they will look for “The Number” on the sticker that has been left behind near the button that opens the door. No matter if they bought the house with the door already installed or had it put in, that is typically the first number they will call for repair.

What about reordering cartridges for your printer, another sign for your office, or making a call to have your computer repaired? The chances increase immensely when the buyer has an easy way to contact you.

A friend of mine, Elsa Chaviano, is a Mary Kay consultant and she puts stickers on every item she sells to make it easy to reorder. Another friend, Scott Mulheron, is in the home remodeling business and he leaves a magnet behind on the customer’s refrigerator to assure another call.

Whether it is a small label or a customized magnet, make sure you leave something behind for repeat business!

What “leave behinds” work for you? Post to this blog and share your ideas with others.

Making a Difference through Personal Branding

2010-01-14T21:00:00.002-05:00

Eight tips from my presentation to small business owners today. It was sponsored by the NFL in alignment with the South Florida Super Bowl XLIV.

1. No matter where you are or what you are doing, you are your brand! Act and dress accordingly at all times.
2. Learn how to set yourself apart to be favorably remembered.
3. Be consistent. Use the same language, colors, themes “voice” everywhere: business cards, web, print, etc.
4. Always give more value than what is expected of you.
5. Take personal responsibility for everything your company represents.
6. Be mindful of what people think when they simply hear or read your name.
7. Keep commitments and don’t over promise.
8. Remember everyone is a possible customer, employee or vendor – if not, they know someone that could be!

Expect the best in 2010

2009-12-31T05:01:00.002-05:00

Aristotle said, "What we expect, that we shall find."

Think about Aristotle’s quote. In simpler terms, we get what we expect. If you look closely into the past, you will find every indication of this truth in your life.

For example, how often have you worried about something so much that you became consumed with concern? Only to find the adversity that you expected came true.

Then again, there were probably times you believed strongly in a favorable outcome and chose the route of letting go; deciding that worrying was just not worth it. Only to find, as if some miracle occurred, the expected positive result became a reality.

What Aristotle said so many years ago still holds true today. As 2009 draws to a close, your life is exactly what you expected. With that in mind, may the coming new year become a time of discovery for you. A year in which you receive into your life all that you desire, believe, and expect!

A Holiday Tradition

2009-12-21T10:09:00.001-05:00

Many years ago, I decided it would be nice to give a gift to someone that I knew would not be giving one to me. My two girls were little at the time and I thought it would also help them learn the true meaning of giving.

We would give great thought as to who the "lucky" person would be and present it to them at Christmas. My recipients have ranged from colleagues, neighbors, and acquaintances to people I didn't even know but were nice to me in a store. The gifts have gone from those fun $1 bills w/Santa in the middle and McDonalds gift certificates to carefully planned items picked out especially for the individual.

This holiday season consider sharing in my tradition and give to someone who will not expect something from you. Who knows? It might be one of their most meaningful gifts this year.